Somebody That I Used To Know
by OnceUponAMadameMayor
Summary: Emma and Hook fall through Zelena's portal back in time to when the fairytales we all know were still being written, and now they have to find their way back home. First stop - getting Emma into a fantasy dress. Second stop - going to the ball. Third stop - well, who knows? Rated T for all the innuendos that there are likely to be.


I'm anticipating Emma meeting the Evil Queen in her glory days with more passion than a thousand burning suns...

I do not own Once Upon a Time, or it would be Regina and Emma time traveling instead of Hook and Emma.

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"I can deal with the whole stuck-in-the-fairytale-land-of-the-past thing...But you're a hundred percent positive that I have to like..." Emma gestured vaguely in the air. "Dance, and curtsey, and all that princess stuff?"

Hook pushed himself up off the tree he had been leaning on, one eyebrow quirked.

"Swan," he said, as if talking to a child, "We have to infiltrate a ball in order to find out where your mother and father are. And although _I_ don't mind the leather jacket..." He eyed her form fitting jacket appreciatively, to which Emma huffed and folded her arms across her chest, "I have a feeling that the guards and the nobles won't take too well to such informal attire."

Emma scoffed.

"And what, you're gonna go wearing that, then?"

She pointed to his leather pirate gear, complete with the golden brocade and the plunging 'v neck'. Hook's eyes widened in offense.

"What's wrong with this?"

Emma didn't bother to respond, settling instead for an exasperated groan. She began to pace, her boots squelching against the long, damp grass of the early morning, running her fingers through her hair. A few golden feathers fluttered out of the blonde waterfall, and she stopped short upon seeing them flutter to the ground. _Where the hell did those come from? _

"So are you turning into a flying monkey belatedly, and didn't care to mention it?" Hook said, his eyes also following the feathers. Emma scowled at him.

"Knock it off," she chastised. Hook raised his eyebrows.

"Too soon since the simian boyfriend?" Emma sent him yet another dirty look. She looked to both sides of her, and then up, and her confused and irritated expression lapsed into one of reluctant comprehension. She pointed up.

"I think the feathers might have something to do with that thing," she surmised, eyeing the large, dazzlingly bright bird located directly above them. It perched in the tree, looking down at them with a swanlike neck and bill. Its eyes were an intelligent blue - a strange color to see on a bird's eyes - and shimmering feathers not unlike that of a peacock's fanned out lazily in the cool morning breeze. "What kind of bird is that?"

Hook scratched the side of his face musingly with his good hand, taking a few steps closer to Emma so as to see the bird better. He tilted his head upwards to look into the leafy branches, and then his eyes widened. Emma's forehead creased.

"What?" she asked. "Is it some...I don't know, evil bird shapeshifter or something?"

Hook shook his head slowly, his eyes precisely the size of saucers.

"No, Swan," he said, his voice that of complete and utter awe. "That's not anything bad at all."

Emma placed one hand on her hip, shifting her weight slightly and cocking her head like a confused and rather wary puppy.

"Why do you look like you want to eat it, then?" she asked. After a moment, she spoke again. "Hook, you're actually drooling. What the hell is it?"

The bird made a whirring sound, as if offended to be regarded as an 'it'. Hook's eyes never left the bird.

"That, Swan, is the Aurum," he said, his voice sounding a bit thick. Emma raised an eyebrow.

"The Aurum? What's that supposed to mean?"

Hook sounded suspiciously as if he were about to cry.

"The Aurum is the golden feathered bird of legend. It's the only one of its kind, and is immortal, and those who have the luck to actually see it in person are thought to be blessed with good luck. The Aurum's the one who truly gave King Midas his powers." Emma balked.

"King Midas? He's real too?"

Hook sent her a look. "I think it would be best for you if you just assumed everything is real until it proves not to be." Emma stared at the bird with a similar expression of awe, although this one was more of a 'wow-this-is-right-out-of-some-library-book-I-forgot-to-return' awe rather than a 'this-is-a-magical-bird-of-legend' awe. However, the countenance dissipated into a more lucid one.

"And so what do we do with it?" she asked testily. "Kill it? Catch it? Sell it on the black market? Do they even have a black market here?" Hook gaped at her, positively scandalized.

"If you touch the bird, you'll turn to gold," Hook said, "It's a defense mechanism. No, what we have to do is take those feathers -" he pointed to the ground, where the departed, silky feathers glimmered in the early sunlight, "and we bring them to the ball. King Midas will be in attendance, and if we can gain his attention with these feathers, he'll tell us anything and everything we want to know."

Emma eyed the feathers speculatively.

"What makes you think he'll want them?" she debated. "He's already got the gift, what will a few feathers do for him?"

Hook grinned devilishly.

"He's had a bounty out on them for a long time. He thinks that they have the same type of power that the bird itself has, and he'll do whatever it takes to amass as much gold and wealth as possible."

Emma crossed her arms speculatively.

"And you're not even thinking about running off with one of them?" she challenged. Hook shook his head.

"I have no need for one of them," he alleged. Emma's expression became that of complete and utter disbelief.

"Yeah, I don't believe that," she said. Hook sighed.

"The thing is, Swan, they only work temporarily. Without the power source of the Aurum, the feathers become limited power sources. They'll work for a bit, but before long they'll become regular feathers. I don't need any leprechaun gold."

Emma's eyes drifted back to the feathers.

"You really think they'll be able to help us find Mary-Margaret and David...Snow and James...Snow and Charming...whatever they're called here?"

Hook nodded in the affirmative.

"Yes. Midas is greedy and gullible - the perfect customer for these beauties."

"And this will help us get back to Storybrooke, to Henry?" she persisted. "Are you totally sure this will work?"

Hook smirked the smirk of a true pirate.

"On my honor, Swan. Would I lie to you?"

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I don't know quite where I'm going with this, but I really enjoy writing fanfiction - and guys, this is the way Emma will finally see Regina in her Evil Queen ensembles. Guys, this is really, really important. GUYS. *dies*


End file.
